the imperfect librarian

  Borges

these archives in the closet
aligned in plastic bins

elementary school report cards on blue paper
describe underachievement

neural real estate floods
girl’s gingham room full of dolls

melancholic with subtly tattered ruffles
shared rooms with iron window grates

couch mattresses on low bed frames
cacophony of harp, trumpet, ruthless rage

camp cabins full of late laughter
dorm quarters draped with madras fabric and incense

lovers rooms with wooden bed frames
or unfolded futons on carpeted floors

intimacy and sleep logged in file folders and old journals

barrage of love

her most acute skill
truly simple wait

forget hunger while
memoir is revised

across a phosphorescent sound
someplace south of home

imagine figs and white nectarines 
goulash and chanterelles

any vehicle to attain
a reconstructed identity

where we constituted
the cultivated myth

a spy in the neuro-typical world

everyone has a belt
cinched to the nearest
awkward moment
their neckties are creative
in that Frank Lloyd Wright
Jerry Garcia design modality

forks on the left
linen napkins neatly pleated
and the difference between white
or red wine glass
includes extra cabinets

Oh, martini ice
Oh, swizzle stick
Oh, olive tongs

dark shoes are in store
because they lay the foundation
for going through the paces

No one grins or guffaws in public
No one admits to the spittle on the pillow
No one discusses incontinence

carefully composed memories
preserved between the leaves
of ancient tissue paper
are stored in coordinated bins

this is a straight and narrow path
with minor pitfalls
and unmentioned hair dye
divorce, botox, arthritic hips

focus reigns
and weather dictates outer gear
vacation options; downhill, cross-country
and in the wake

Search Engine

prebiotics enhance the flora
of my microbiome

if I google myself
disappointment zings upwards

there is no metaphor for now
but the quest continues to haunt

fall grey casts its pall over morning
despite bitter coffee antidote

every ounce lost
increases endorphins

its an MMA world
in a virtual medium

neither Warrior Pose nor Downward Dog
adjust this curvature

all over the map
silence pervades

on a lonely trend
other ceases to exist

pleasantry resonates narcissism
any number of bells toll

two hours of dominant paradigm shopping
results in moving meditation

only gratitude can balance this
collection of detritus

fish shaped purses, 1960’s lunch boxes, cookie tins
all stacked, in wait

what appears empty fills with story
once upon a lunchtime

inside the pockets
worthless charms

stuffed animal comfort logic
a language of inertia

earlier still, the confines of womb structure
permeates memory

back into current
the entitlement ring reminder emanates

self growth comes at the cost of
lost causes

even with everyone intact
the circle can shrink

but the spiral holds hope
that potential return

good night

colloquialisms don’t go over well
talk to you later and the forlorn all
sit on a stoop waiting for their non-
emergent mothers in station wagons
devouring time like an overripe plum
forced to stagnate until at least eleven
not even clear on adulthood and the ensuing
responsibility of a bike ride around Oregon

maybe a phone call since we’re heading for an
even denser clod this year but nothing so convenient
as proximity can ease the mad clatter of obsession
that mars the night sky with it’s endless refrain look
look look and into the dark we stare willingly as if
some brightness would catch hold to startle us out of
this chosen fugue state and a tight clique of stars
shelters a big surprise none of us believe in anymore

hesitancy about honesty inhibits necessary motion
a flicker of rose candle in the childhood corner proposes
faith that baneful endings can have a toxic effect which
would wreck the vision of a real balcony scene replete with
ripe kiwi and silk garments something akin to forever but
without the emphasis on death or even passion as these are
remnants of someone else’s nightmare and not the true colors
deemed relevant if pursuit and soft skin can tolerate so long

Empty Nesting

it is the echo
of myself I want
to talk to
now out
of the ashes
to tell me
how this story-frond
unfurls
replicated boys
gather over and over
brotherly lovely
grief stilled
in peripheral urns
boxed and bound
banter ricochets
across rooms
or via satellite
everyone ends up
laughing at the same
songs the winning score
when my tall son smiled
near the end of his season
after another 3 points
years of bleachers
hidden sorrows
grave visits mellowed
tell her she knew
how to grow into
this future self
let her in on a secret
the story is easy
follow the path

Dead Man’s Resume

it’s good paper, I think
as the mauve pile
slips into the printer-slot
his bold font choice
faced away
the list of gigs obsolete

my play is all about the dead
how their voices echo
and I print it out
with a smirk

it’s still too soon to write
his character out of my head
what, with the old vice grips
yet to sell, these resumes to recycle
and the earlier deaths to purge