mistook pride
for contempt in
an on-line quiz
sneer of self-importance
vs. inward smile
EQ mastery
via actors’ expressions
how to imply rage
without eyes leveled
vehement dart of distrust or
how to convert camera
into love by a turn
of the cheek a glance
into discerning lens
part of what we know
is a translation from
remark to sensate
therein the chemistry
secreted messages
interface with breath
mood emerges
we hover in habitual
despair too sensitive
for milk and cheap shoes
our plantar fasciitis aches
as soon as our feet touch
the hardwood floors
this preference for Egyptian
cotton and eco-friendly
cleansers exceeds the peri-
menopausal spotting while
quietly, in retro-linoleum
kitchens, we admit to kegels
our fears of flaccid
vaginal walls outweigh
taboos friendships bridge
disembodied, I wafted
from one broken facet to another
all terrified and calcified along my spine
interrupted messages, unnerved and random
caused a plaintive quality, a nasal timbre
as if the only option were; cry
to hoist each fragment
out of the mine shaft
of solitary confinement
seemed paralyzing
but it didn’t pay to rattle around
in my own echo chamber any longer
life was time sensitive
and the double hemispheres
had synchronized, patience had worn thin
sensuality, with its humor,pithy and hot
wanted a faster train of thought
the challenge to un-split despite
constricted potentials outside the box
and the purported marginality
of a gender neutral stance
came as a fantastic consequence
there were no caveats, no expectations
the only repetitive stress could be assuaged
with symbolic gestures: a Ganesh shirt
an expandable Buddha; the photo gallery in my Droid
the Rainrap, ineffective in east coast October
and the 33 De Camp bus, slightly late
hand-picked rendez vu’s allowed for
the arc of self over four decades, unapologetic autonomy
whenever we celebrate this many shuffled-over years
our multi-generational perplexity can soften
a congruity of forgiveness and mutual sorrow
crippling stories and generosity
renew the common thread
balancing genetic with chosen
we may close our eyes
or open them
without grave dangers
resonating forward
from various pasts
and when the song comes
we can sing
she struggles with her reptilian
brain, hedonic and reactive
the age old desire to store fat
her goal fluctuates as if
lifetime is a range adapted
from an on-line chart
small signs of age gather
in her larder; individually
wrapped snacks and berry fruities
zen moments are impeded by a widening
gap beside the right incisor and the daily
search for misplaced progressive lenses
lithe memories abound
the resonant thrill of eye to eye
contact, first kisses all over the globe
equilibrium keeps elusive company
mood swings and intermittent blood
in exchange for metered rhythms
all of the self-care sign-posts
have similar fonts in big letters
soft curves and a welcome-in aspect
she hovers at the back of a morning
meeting, sports a make-shift badge
and new age water bottle
with the onslaught of celery and persistent
calculation around portion control
she shifts her weight
she explores dignity’s
dimensions
bends metal
with her mind
this motivational surge
compelled by conviction
not truth
is interrupted by “DROID” alerts
she ponders the plodding
accuracy of artisans
[if the railing turns a corner
inaccurate measurements
can occur]
so many studs to consider
she finally sees the difference
between brain machinations
and anvil
parallel fires
as she descends
into her sanctuary
full of unread Taoist tomes
decades of paper to shred
stock travel in trucks
edible leaves out of reach
in this car, self portraits
accumulate in virtual piles
some friends do not reply
but share salient articles
daily vocabulary appears
plenary, in single incidents
the feel of dreams, deep
in hypothalmic juice
the sink is polished,
mayonnaise away, order reigns
We weren’t serious but had to be electrically adept, get the attic door painted, and re-grout the bathroom. My affective filter registered low so it was time to choose a Life Stage Management plan. Nano was the new mini and we couldn’t honestly hang that blue fruit basket in the kitchen without impinging our view into the desiccated front yard. We were roaming around with head lice in an identity piece connected to suffragettes. There was the hope of a reflective partner, someone with a well developed angular gyrus , able to utilize a stepping stone approach. Once we’d covered the basics of organization-navigation and located application pointers in the dock, we were ready to unlock each others’ passwords. We found what we wanted by rotating our desktops then put the house icon on top.
we echo like se awful
remake poorly filtered
cross our arms and look
down on the trendy
grimace of the ten
year old as he confronts
his empty wishing well
full of cell phone fantasy
and late night swims
hidden in the dark
a place our aging
hearts rarely venture
that death place
that earliest fall
his thumb joints
will wear thin
and capitals
disintegrate
the espresso
pulled long
run cold
even with the ringer
off I hear the Droid
buzz sense my sons’ calls
one wants to drop-by
the younger needs his compression shorts
long distance friends insist
their way past my determined
persona past my candle-lit
intention into various conversations
e-mails bing on the multi-window screen
Attend! Attend! they command beyond
power of choice while Facebook lures
demonic detachment to scroll past everyone
else’s breast cancer, freedom, publication
exhaustion and articles pop-up to Exclaim!
Proclaim! Declaim! while meager efforts to refrain
from merging with virtual traffic
take all the energy I can muster
my husband, ensconced in legalese does not
even know I’ve texted my loneliness from
the dry autumn trail where ghosts do Tai Chi
and dog walkers attempt to communicate
as I pass by in search of a more expansive view
one where the tops of trees and blue sky outweigh
the risk of wanting or needing to cry